That is my new mantra… I received that t-shirt from Beach Body for submitting my use of the 21 Day Fix. I did not realize just how much I would end up loving that shirt or just how many people would ask what it means and be inspired by my story. So here is my week in play!
DISCLAIMER – I am having a bit of a pity party today….
Today was kind of an odd day. Feeling a bit out of sorts all day, angry, stressed, depressed and have the chills. I decided to leave work a little early and took a little nap. Still feeling kinda antsy so ate dinner and decided to go for a walk. The weather has been crazy nice so decided to take a detour and walk around a man made lake. It was beautiful, the sun was just starting to set and the birds are chirping. So peaceful.
As I was walking back home I was thinking why am I feeling all out of sorts. I think it is because I have been doing a lot of stepping outside my comfort zone.. the last couple of weeks have been about growing and healing and that can be painful at times. But the reality is like will be full of these moments, how I handle them is up to me. I am in charge of my future, I dictate my happiness, my successes and my failures.
As I was reflecting on this and thinking how proud of myself I am that I have been doing this…. a guy drives by and yells something rude at me. Then not 3 minutes later a truck drives by with three guys and they bark out the window at me. All the sudden I was that fat girl being made fun of again. All I could think was am I ever NOT going to be looked at as this less than ok person? I could go right and within 3 minutes be in the safety of my home or I could go straight, finish my walk and spend another mile and a half being vulnerable.
I choose to go straight, I have not worked hard the last 8 months to let some asshat jerk ruin my love for walking. That said I fought back tears for a bit because that pain of being ridiculed and judged came flashing back. BUT again I and I alone am responsible for how I react to these things. Reality is the world is full of hateful mean people but it is more full of amazing, loving and supportive people. Now I will admit the old Theresa came GLARING out and I did flip him off, am I proud of it… no… but that is ok too, hey I am not perfect…yet
I have a few things coming up that are going to stretch my comfort level hugely! Tomorrow I am going to celebrate with my bestie and I am wearing a dress and that is way outside my zone of ok. I think the other two things are part of what is really pushing my emotions.
Life is full of growth and change, happiness and sadness, pain and joy and how we choose to react to it is up to us. We are the owners of our own happiness and sadness. I cannot lay it on anyone else.
So turns out the dress was ok… I felt completely comfortable and had an great time. My buddy from work went with me and I got to see my best friend get married. She was STUNNING!
First day of dog sitting the dogs are adorable and they live off Lacamas Lake so it was a nice walk to get there and even nicer walk around it. My first day there I walked the length of it to the end of the trail and got a little over 7 miles in. It was a hot day for us but the breeze off the lake was awesome. Grilled veggies for dinner!
What a day. Had to commute from The Couv to Portland this morning. Got to work realized I didn’t have my wallet or driver’s license or money… Got home look for my wallet and could not find it anywhere. Call the last place I used it at they said they didn’t have it but I decided to pop in there anyway. Of course this was after I spent an hour-and-a-half tearing my car apart. So much for my walk. But thank God they did have it and I got a little walk in before it got dark. Then I plugged in that big old jetted tub and took a soak. That’s the upside of doggy sitting for people who make way more money than I do haha.
This my friends is why Public Access is so important oh my God this park is amazing. If you have not been to Lacamas Park you need to go. I will totally drive from Gresham to here on a weekend to spend the day there was so many paths I just didn’t have time tonight. So Serene nothing but the water and the birds and the occasional hiker/biker.
What an amazing day! 2 different people asked what my shirt meant (closer every day) although one person thought it said clover smile emoticon I explained and then they asked me to tell my story! One gal has diabetes she said she has hope now.
I hiked an amazing hike this morning AND the trash and homeless camps are gone from my beloved butte! I chatted with people, petted dogs and conquered the one dreaded trail I have been avoiding.
Today I prepped food and will finish tomorrow. Decided to take another walk and found an awesome trail that goes forever and ends up by a park across town. It goes behind aTarget so tomorrow I am headed that way again with some fruit and will stop at the store and grab some crackers and cheese and water and have a Lil picnic!
Was headed back in the building and 3 tenants I used to visit with just looked at me. I was waiting for the elevator and heard a knock on the glass door. They realized it was me and we’re yelling OMG and giving me the thumbs up! Seriously how frigging awesome is it that others are so excited and happy for me!!! Many I don’t even know.
I am trying to get better about listening to my body. I did learn something this week while I was house sitting. I eat clean like really really clean and I went out and had a burrito bowl no tortilla and no sour cream with minimal cheese. Prior to starting this I had severe IBS and I have not had any issues since July… Until I ate the burrito bowl, 2 days of feeling literally like shit!
So lesson learned, even though I could have chosen worse, it was not like I am used to. The veggies were greasy and I am sure the beans were not vegetarian.
I am struggling more, feeling like I need to eat something else. Not hungry really just mentally slipping. I know I have to step up my water intake and I have to get to measuring and counting again. I have not weighed for a couple of weeks but did this morning and I am where I was a month ago. I am OK with the scale for the time being but I am not done and I need to get focused so I can meet goal and work on maintaining. I think it is important to continue to be honest and transparent about my journey so there ya go.
Was attempting to make salad rolls FAIL. but it made a good salad instead. Awesome hike this morning
Before I headed to bed a couple of days ago I checked my test results online and WOOOOT my A1C is even lower than the last test!!! YAY Beach Body, Shakeology, Clean Eating and 21 Day Fix continue to save my life!!
Sep 2015 – 5.9 Apr 2016 – 5.6
This was the day I decided I wanted mexican food but had to walk to the restaurant to get it!