In my mind I am still overweight Theresa I honestly do not think of myself differently. I still find myself going to the plus size section to look at clothes etc. Periodically at work I will run across someone I have not seen in awhile. Today one of our retired engineers who does periodic work for us was in the office. I passed him and said hi, he had no idea who I was. When I got back to my desk he saw me again and came over. His shock was hilarious! He said he had no idea who I was earlier. 2 weeks ago I had to introduce myself to a woman I had worked with for 10 years I had to use my full name!
It is still so weird, scary, uncomfortable, flattering, mind boggling and humbling the amount of people who want to talk to me about my transformation and ask me questions about it.
I had a couple of epiphanies this week. One was a song I had not heard in a long time. I used to drive and sing it sobbing trying not to cross the yellow line and ending the pain. I heard it this week and started crying but realized they were good tears, my mind has shifted so much that the lyrics mean hope now not despair. The second was I was smiling at a lady and she said your eyes just sparkle now, they show genuine happiness and I actually felt it if that makes sense.
I love you all, love this blog, love my life and most importantly for the first time in 40 years love ME. I no longer spend my days thinking how much easier it would be to end it if I did not have my amazing kids to keep me in it but rather how I can make the days last longer.
I picked up several books today and am excited to get started on them. One is called Instant Happy Journal. It is a 365 days of inspirations, gratitude and joy book! I am going to randomly pick one page a day and see what happens! I am also going to work at being better about blogging!
Please love yourselves, never give up you are worth this!!!