Life is all about choices and we are free to choose whatever we want however with choices sometimes come consequences. Life is also about learning to deal with the hands we are dealt…sometimes they are amazing and sometimes they are heartbreaking hands.
I have done a lot of thinking this past year or so since starting this journey. I have made some good choices and some not so good choices in my life. I have paid for some of those choices dearly and I have been blessed beyond measure for some of them. What I do not regret is any of them.
I made the choice to not tell anyone about my rape and that decision altered my life. Do I regret that choice? That is so hard to answer… had I told someone perhaps I would have gotten help and not went down the drugs/alcohol/drop out school path I took. And although that would have saved my family much heartache I never would have been made a ward of the court, met the man I met and had the amazing children I had. I spent years punishing myself for that rape and the choices made after it. In fact it was not until a little over a year ago that I began to truly forgive myself for those bad choices. Let me make it clear I did NOT ask to be assaulted and did NOT deserve it. You could drive yourself crazy trying to figure out if you would have done it differently. So why do that, you cannot change the past but can going forward make better choices. I made the choice to have a healthy life. And that is hands down one of the best decisions I have made.
I choose to go from obese, lazy, in constant pain & depression that was overwhelming at times to the happier, healthier, less depressed & less in pain more active person I am today.
I have gone from hiding under baggy clothes, never letting my picture get taken, worrying about what others think of me person to the over sharing, acting goofy, belly laughing dork I am today!
When I decided a year ago to take back my life and health I had no idea the twist and turns it would take. I never in a million years thought I would love to walk much less love to hike up hills and climb over things. Never thought I would show my body in a swimsuit much less go swimming in the mountains in my bra and undies! Who knew I would end up really liking exercising even the ones that make me feel every muscle the next morning! I never figured I would approach people I did not know. I was not a smiling happy person. Today I love engaging people in conversation, I love smiling at others and seeing their smiles back. Today I popped by the store on my way home from the farmers market. The checker was a young boy and he asked me how my day was going….before I knew it I blurted out that is was OUTSTANDING and I was feeling BLISSFUL (where did this come from!!!!)! He broke into the biggest smile and told me he loved that answer! We chatted a bit and I told him the me a year ago would never have said that. He asked what was different today from a year ago so I gave him the short version. What an absolutely wonderful experience I had talking to him. Less than 5 minutes chatting with him and I was still smiling ear to ear when I got to my car! I have noticed in my recent pictures my mouth is always open and I thought to myself why do you always do that…then I realized looking back at older pictures it is because I am genuinely happy! That is a real genuine smile going on right there!
So back to choices and I think where this blog post started but I am like a dog with a squirrel sometimes! I made the choice to invest in me. I decided that given it was expensive to do Shakeology I better fully invest in my 21 days. I have always felt like I cannot eat that more healthy option it is so spendy. That is utter BS! I eat smaller portions so the food goes much farther, I eliminated 10 medications 10!!! I no longer spend the amount I used to on crappy food or expensive coffee… yes I still do the coffee occasionally but not like I used to but I am no longer spending money eating out all the time. Eating healthy is not too expensive. Let’s be real, eating at McDonald’s is not cheap at least not anymore and add the health issues it creates you are costing more. I choose to eat organic and as healthy as I can but you can also buy regular produce etc. Not buying boxed processed food is totally affordable. I make huge batches of soups and chili using fresh produce and for less than $15 I can get 4 gallons or more of healthy soup to freeze. The one area I will not scrimp on is my steel cut oats or faro I have kind of become a snob! I only use Anson Mills, he is organic, no pesticide, totally heirloom products. The taste is beyond amazing. And did I say I have eliminated 10 medications by living this new lifestyle that is a huge savings!
Today I spent $20 at the farmers market and got a ton of great stuff that will last me the week or longer. These pictures below are my normal way of eating. I love this new way of life. I made a choice to make me a priority and I am blessed that my friends and family fully support me in this lifestyle. I never feel I am putting them out by this way of eating. They love me enough they want me to be successful and they in turn have made changes in their lives.