I have been getting annoyed with the fact that I seem to be grinding gears in my car….Then while having lunch with my friend I had an epiphany and it hit my why! I have never moved my seat since losing weight. I literally had a hard time steering because my stomach was pushing on it (my legs were to short to push back any further). I now have to sit forward in booths instead of choosing tables so I could move the chair back and today I moved my car seat up! NSV I really needed this as I am struggling.
I kind of feel like the Epiphanater as I am having them all over the place these days. I stepped on the scale and boom up 10 pounds 10 POUNDS! Other than my eating more greek yogurt and fruit than I probably should I am eating clean as I always have BUT I am no longer burning 3500 calories a day. I am used to walking 10-12 miles at a time after work but since being on restriction I am not burning the same amount of calories… I am also having to modify the hell out of everything so just not as active as I had been. Therefore my body is not processing like it was.
I am also being a ginormous baby about the whole dealio. SO I sat myself down today and had a “come to Jesus talk” with myself. I am only allowed to walk 10-15 minutes slowly 2 or 3 times a day and I have just allowed myself to be a baby and not do it other than at work. In my childs mind I am telling myself if I cannot walk or hike a lot then I am not going to do it (insert foot stomp). I am slipping back into the old Theresa, the Theresa who is feeling sorry for herself and it infuriates me! I am mad like super duper mad, mad that my muscle tone is waning, mad that I cannot do the half marathon next month that I have been wanting to do for a year, mad that I am mad, mad that I am a big baby, mad that I am slowly loosing what I worked so hard to gain as far as hiking and strength, mad that today I noticed my boobage was runnething over my cup….. I am mad and that is DRIVING ME MAD!
So today I went for my small painfully slow walk 😉 It is hard for me to walk slow. I also have directive to not overdo housework. Normally that would elate me but now I am just irritated because I am not liking being told I cannot be active. I also have not been drinking water like I used to so upped that. I will also start using my containers again… I got to where I was eyeballing it and that worked ok when I was super active but clearly I need to get back in the groove. My body has been rebelling since this all started… my joints ache, my muscles are sore… I am kind of feeling like I was before I lost the weight.
I know this will pass and I know that unless I pull my head out I am going to derail myself. I lost weight without exercising the first 2 months so I know being sidelined is not an excuse. I am dog sitting next week and Kira will need to go for walks. I likely will do more than my 15 minutes as she needs at least a couple of miles a night but I will do it slowly. I am also breaking up with bread again….we just cannot reside in the same home…and Bliss nut butters…. we also need to part ways…and fruit with yogurt and maple syrup… sigh… my addictive personality is not my friend this time!