Clean_Eating, Crafts, Exercise, Fear, forgiveness, Grateful, gratitude, Habit, Happiness, Journal, Journey to happiness, joy, kindness, LIFE IS GOOD, Loss, Mindfulness, New Beginnings, Sadness, Uncategorized

Unhurried Adventures for 2018

2017 was not the best year. It was full of sadness, loss, pain, the unknown sprinkled with a bit of joy. It was a year where my body betrayed me after all the punishing hiking I did to it the year prior. A year of gaining back most of the weight I worked so hard to lose. A year of losing a dear friend who walked the same path to get our health back only to lose her life to cancer. A year of not being in the lives of some of the most important people to me. A year of me slowly sliding back to the Theresa I was prior to July 2015 when I decided to try and take my life back or rather find the life I know I deserve and never allowed.

But 2017 was also a learning year and I have high hopes for 2018. I spent most of 2017 on steroids and that is toxic and brutal to your system. I cannot blame all of my weight gain on them but that is a huge part of it. The gain, bloat and topped off with manic highs and lows due to it were brutal. I love my doctor, he is so genuinely interested in figuring out a solution to my back and hip issues. He has never given up and honors my wish to not be put on pain meds for the pain. I am feeling very optimistic that we finally hit the spot!! The last shot was in a cyst they found on my spine and although I am not close to being pain free, I am also not in that constant never ending cannot get it out of your mind pain level!

I decided 2018 is going to be my year to slow down and refocus my goals. I have always been in a hurry. A hurry to get to the store, to work, to listen to others, to eat, to walk, you name it and I will hurry through it. One upside to hurting myself was being forced to slow down on my walks. It is amazing what you miss when all you are focused on is going fast and getting to the goal. I found this awesome book so treated myself to it. It basically is about slowing down and taking your time. It is full of the most amazing things to do. The writing is beautiful and their FB page has all these wonderful memes to share and have others comment on. I am really looking forward to making my FB page more toward what I had intended it to be. One of the chapters has these wonderful cards that you pop out of the book and fill out. I love their idea of putting them in a jar and pulling them out when you need a reminder of how beautiful life can be.

I am excited to see what 2018 brings. I cannot wait to share more chapters of this book because it is so wonderful. If you are interested in it I would suggest purchasing through Amazon, it is on sale as we speak. One of the quotes in the book was this…. and let me tell you it hit hard for me this year. I lost one beautiful friend and I have another beautiful friend fighting for her life. My friends lost their loved ones… we get busy, we take for granted they will always be there. The first chapter of this book is from the perspective of the author and her friend who nearly died… That friend taught her to slow down, take time out of your day. Make your life and time a priority sometimes. Even a 10 minute meet up for a quick coffee could make all the difference in the world.

I shouldn’t have to wait for my friend to get sick for us to share wonderful moments together

Here is to an amazing and unhurried 2018 my friends~

Clean_Eating, Exercise, Fear, gratitude, Habit, Happiness, Journey to happiness, joy, LIFE IS GOOD, Mindfulness, New Beginnings, rain, Uncategorized

It’s the Little Things in Life (day 1 of 30)

Day 1 – 30 Day Challenge . Last year around this time I was challenged to a 30 day positive challenge. I am going to do it again as the memories on Facebook popping up have been amazing. However this year my challenge is to everyday find something to be thankful for regardless of how the day went. I will also be true to how I am really feeling. I did a lot of covering up last year, always putting on a smiling face because I had been taken to task by a few people on being honest…they interpreted that as being “woe is me or ungrateful”.

Today is Mother’s Day and I am unable to spend it with my children, grandson or mom. Last year the weather was beautiful and I went for a hike. This year I have a messed up back and hip and it is raining but that is ok. It is the little things in life that make it good. I cleaned, I stretched, I cooked a tasty dinner and made extra for work. I heard from my son, daughter and mom! I inadvertently flashed some men in the parking lot I mean who can say their day has been that fun filled! I soaked in an epsom salt tub, I even shaved my legs!

Some might read this and think…of that poor woman alone on Mother’s Day… how sad. But I have learned the last 2 years since starting this journey that life is what we make it. It will be full of ups and downs and sideways. I have amazing friends, some I have known my entire life, some I have never met other than on social media and some I have met since moving to the city 18 years ago.

July 20, 2015 will be 2 years since I took back my life. It has not always been easy but every single struggle has been worth it and every single victory has been even sweeter. I am not done, likely I will never be done. I spent 38 years hiding behind obesity. I spent those 38 years masking a pain that at times cut me to the core and left me fighting to not end my life. BUT I never gave up and I never will give up. I will embrace the good, the bad and the ugly and I will be honest about it.

I am sitting here listening to the rain and some thunder. I have horrible tinnitus and it can be truly debilitating I think what angers me most about it is I cannot enjoy solitude. If you have not suffered it I think it is really hard to understand. I realized just how bad it was when I was hiking awhile back and the silence was deafening…literally… It was painful how loud the ringing was, sometimes it reverberates and sometimes it just hurts. BUT I am finding with my better eating habits and breathing habits I can stand it a bit better. I almost always have the tv on for sound. I am sitting here with it off and actually enjoying the sound of the rain and occasional car.

Like I said it is the little things in life, a sound machine, the rain and wind, a healthy meal. A tub full of epsom salts and a razor to shave with. A view that is so beautiful even in the darkest of rainy days.

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Awww to be a kid again

I got this message from my sister tonight about the toys we had as children and how different it was. I have very few memories of my childhood, not sure why I just don’t, but this brought back some of the best ones….

“I have been sitting here thinking about the toys we had growing up. All I can remember is what you had! I do remember I had a faux Barbie Doll on steroids, some wooden furniture and a wooden apple like the Russian dolls that are smaller and smaller. Then there were your toys, Mrs. Beasley, an easy bake oven, the Fischer Price wind up clock and cash register, your Barbies stand out. I think I was too old by the time I started storing those memories to really get toys. I remember the games Aggravation and Chinese Checkers! I know I had a bouncing horse, but by the time we moved to Case’s Trailer court I got a bike that summer so that was pretty much what I did. Funny isn’t it.

Back then a bike was THE toy. We didn’t really need much more. I’m guessing you got those because I was older and could go out and play by myself and you were too young to play outside by yourself so you had to have something to occupy yourself with! By the time we moved to Mc Gowan I was about 10 and too old for dolls and the such. I know I spent a lot of my time reading. Didn’t you get one of those things were you made rubber worms or something? Maybe that was me. I don’t see you as the rubber worm type. You did love your Mrs. Beasley. What ever happened to her?”

I remember wanting that Mrs. Beasley doll so bad, that was ALL I wanted….I ended up getting one from mom & dad, and Uncle Bill & Aunt Eldamarie got me one as well! I am not sure why but I cried what will I do with TWO Mrs. Beasley’s it was silly lol. WOW she is kinda creepy

https://i1.wp.com/webdebris.com/70s/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/barbie_country_camper_1976.jpgI remember the Barbie dolls, I loved them! I am not sure but think our grandpa or some relative made the most amazing kitchen table and chairs and a rocker out of wood for them. Dad brought home a little shed from his job, it was supposed to be a storage shed but it was my Barbie Metropolis! I had my Barbie condo, and beach house, and the table and chairs not to mention my Barbie holiday on wheels, corvette and boat! I would play for hours and hours in that shed. Ultimately I would end up trying to style their hair (you cannot cut and style their hair), paint their eyelids with nail polish, and poke needles in their ears for earrings. Then would hide them for fear I would get in trouble for ruining them.

My easy bake over was the bomb! It was the best one for blocks I am sure! I cannot find an original picture but it stood about 3 feet tall with fake burners and knobs, and the little door on the front just like a real stove! It had 2 light bulbs and I baked and baked in that thing! I loved it. And Shrinky Dinks I loved mine and yes I had the worm/spider one I thought it was awesome!

Played forever with this, in fact I found one when the boys were born.

Vintage 1974 Fisher Price Cash Register #926 with Original Coins Worksawww my cash register!

I am sure Carol had a clever name for this beast!

1968 Schwinn Stingray Fair Lady Pink Original Vintage Bicycle Banana Seat Oh YEAH I remember this bad boy!

Who remembers these roller skates haha!!

who can forget clackers seriously who ever thought this was a good idea for kids!

We would play Aggravation, chinese checkers, cards, yahtzee and collect four on our camping trips. It was the highlight of the day….

I think we would both agree though our favorite “toys” were books. I loved books, I had them under my blankets, under my bed, on top of the bed, on the floor EVERYWHERE!

Thanks Carol for the memories!