Change, Clean_Eating, climbin, Cravings, Exercise, Fear, forgiveness, Grateful, gratitude, Habit, Happiness, Journey to happiness, LIFE IS GOOD, Loss, Mindfulness, New Beginnings, Pain, Sadness, Uncategorized

Baby got Back…or will get Back!

I have had a lot of facebook memories popping up the last few months. Most involve having met my weight loss goal and the back issues I have had the last year or so. I got derailed, stopped blogging and lost sight of things. In my effort to get fit and lose weight I messed up my back and hip. I was walking 10-15 miles every single day for the better part of a year. I pushed myself, lost sight of the joy I had gotten from being out doors and was more obsessed with how fast and how far I could go. Having an addictive personality is a double edged sword.

Thus started my gaining 80 of the 120 I had lost. Losing the joy I had gained by being outdoors. Depression setting back in. Mostly non stop steroid for more than a year. I was lucky enough to find an amazing doctor who tried every single thing he could think of before sending me to another wonderful doctor. After more than a year of steroids and spinal shots they decided to do RFA. Basically they pinpoint which nerves are being pissy and they cauterize them. The hope is they will stop shooting pain signals to my brain. It is likely IF it is successful that I will need it done a time or two more to stop them regenerating. Success if usually 60% relief which 200% better than what I am having.

This is whole new path for me. The pain is vastly different in the last week. My butt cheek on the good side goes numb when I stand or walk. The good sides lower leg hurts and feels on fire. They did both sides but I still am a bit shocked at how the good side is the problem child right now. I have done a ton of research and the back feeling sunburned is normal and lasts a couple of weeks. I assume the butt and leg issue on the good side is just the pissing off of nerves that were only slightly mad. It is a rather interesting procedure but invasive so causes a lot of angry nerves! On the plus side the bad side is still somewhat numbed from the steroids etc so I am not feeling it on both sides….yet! It is a new journey, I have to strengthen my core… a core I do not have due to multiple surgeries. It weakens your back so it is essential to get a core and strengthen my back muscles or this has been for not.


Going forward is going to be about taking it slow and easy but consistently working on it. I am focusing on my eating again, doing small walks and exercises the therapist has given me. Today I decided to drive to get some organic veggies. I love wandering through looking at the different types of veggies and fruits they offer. They had these amazing beautiful flowers. I am forcing myself to enjoy the everyday beauty. Until I can get back to my hiking and the views it gives I have to find new kinds of pretty.

Yesterday on the way home from work I drove up to one of my favorite spots in the city. Mt. Tabor was so important to me when I was first walking and losing. It is this gorgeous oasis in the middle of our city. Yesterday I walked around the reservoir. Such a tiny little walk but was gorgeous and so quiet and felt oh so good! There was a British gent there who was reading, having tea and just chilling with his pup.

So here I am on a new venture with the same outcome hopes but a very different path. I started my journey on 7-20-2015. On 2-09-2018 I took a different fork in the path. Along with 2 friends we have decided to weigh every Friday at work, I will also measure and take a picture every other week. Being honest and sharing was so helpful to me last time I am going to do it again. So stats for the last 3 week are as follows…drum roll please….


  • Weight 265
  • Neck 15 1/2
  • Arm  L 15 1/2  R 15 1/2
  • Chest 51 1/2
  • Under bra 42
  • Waist 50
  • Hip 51 1/2
  • Thigh L 23  R 22 1/2
  • Calf L 14 1/2  R 14 3/4


  • Weight 259


  • Weight 257.5
  • Neck 15
  • Arm  L 15  R 15
  • Chest 51 1/2
  • Under bra 42
  • Waist 48 3/4
  • Hip 51
  • Thigh L 22 1/2  R 22 1/2
  • Calf L 14 1/2  R 14 3/4

I took a lot of pictures through the first year I lost all the weight. It is so telling way more than the scale. These are 2 weeks apart and you can see how cutting the carbs and eating more, drinking more water makes a difference in the bloat.


Here are some pictures from the first year. I like to keep it handy, it reminds me where I was, where I got and how I can get back there again. It was never really about the loss of pounds on the scale although I did become obsessed with it. It is about feeling good in my skin, being as healthy as I can be and being able to be active. 170109


  • Weight 253

So here I am back at square one but I have high hopes… hopes my back issues will get better, hopes my depression will ease, hopes I can hike again, hopes that even though I will stumble I will remember to always get back up


21 Day Fix, Change, Clean_Eating, Uncategorized

Soapbox Saturday

So I have dubbed today soap box Saturday! I went to the farmers market and got so many amazing things that I know are healthy. I was reminded how a year ago I went every Saturday and bought produce and fruits that I could freeze. Herein lies my soap box speech. If you prep you increase your ability to succeed tenfold. What I noticed the last 6 months since my injuries is I no longer do the amount of prep I used to. I still do a little but not enough. If you prep you will succeed. **hint if you pre-chop lettuce or cabbage try to use a ceramic knife you will avoid the browning and the excuse to not eat it!

I used to take one Saturday a month and spend maybe 4 hours doing mass prepping. I made steel cut oats and measured and froze for 1 yellow container. Pop it out of the freezer the night before and take to work the next day. No excuse to buy unhealthy breakfast. I would clean and pre-measure fruits to freeze for my smoothies, although now I realize I can just freeze in a bag and measure it out LOL. I made large batches of soups and would measure and individually freeze, pre-cook meat and pre-measure. Anything I could prep ahead of time and pop in the freezer I did. Even if I was tired and did not pull anything out to thaw I could just pop in the micro! I boiled eggs and kept a supply at all times in the fridge, prepped fresh veggies as well.

Not only does it save time and money but it saves the excuse to order out. I spent less than $30 for all the items in the picture today and most of that cost was the garlic because HELLO FRESH GARLIC!

I never make a batch of soup that takes me longer than 30 minutes start to finish and it is so good and so healthy. If you mass prep once a month you will only need to do minimal the rest of the month. WE are worth that extra few hours.

My daughter showing up yesterday was a reminder of just how depressed I have been, how this 50 pound gain has sucked the joy out of me. YES it is just a number but it is a number that has made my pain even worse, that has stopped me from finding my joy outside. Just being in the fresh air, laughing and being goofy was the best medicine I could have. And even though it was a short visit it reminded me that if I continue on this slow gain I am not going to be around to enjoy the times I do get with my kids.

Make yourself a priority, it is not selfish. If your spouse is not on board tell them how important it is and if they still are not so be it they can eat the way they choose. This lifestyle should not require making separate meals, the food is amazing and tasty and reality is WE owe it to ourselves and our loved ones. For many of us our weight is dangerous level. Our children and loved ones deserve to have mom and dad around to raise them. They deserve to have good examples so they do not struggle the same as we have for so many years. If I had not done this I would be dead or at the very least suffering from stroke related issues. It is hard and it is harder if we make it harder. If you make it a lifestyle and never ever allow yourself to feel deprived you will succeed.

Beach Body, Change, Clean_Eating, Fear, gratitude, Habit, Happiness, Journey to happiness, LIFE IS GOOD, Mindfulness, New Beginnings, Shakeology, Uncategorized


I participated in a 3 week challenge with my amazing coaches and I am seriously happy! I was ok with just the feeling better aspect of this challenge but my results are awesome! I still have people question if this sort of thing works or not and that it is too hard. I have stated in the past that I had initially lost 115 pounds and then life happened and I put 20 pounds back on.

I am still unable to hike 10-15 miles a day like I was and I have to modify the modify once I can actually start working out again. So with the rare exception that I got to go hiking these results for the last 3 weeks have been changing my eating habits solely. I still eat super clean just not as diligent as I was, I started sneaking around with bread… we broke up 3 weeks ago…

I am dialing my eating back in, I had been under eating and under drinking my water and anytime I do that I end up gaining. These challenges are such good reminders of why this way of eating is the only way to go.

I started at 195.8 and am 189.3 today for a loss of 6 pounds. I started at 231 inches and today am 222.5 inches for a loss of 8.5 inches. But more importantly I am not bloated, my mood is better, I am not in as much pain. This way of life is about so much more than loss on the scale or tape (but hey it doesn’t hurt if it happens)!



Day 10 ~~ 30 Day Challenge ~~ Farmers Market, Friends and Food

I was so tired when I got up this morning…. I woke up at 3:30 am and just could not shut my brain down. I was just dragging about 8 am so toodled off to Target to get some of my favorite dried fruit I love. Bought a new exercise ball, resistance bands and hand weights! Then off to the farmers market with my friend Mary.

Mary cracks me up beyond belief, she is moving in June and I am so sad to see her leave but will be happy for her, she needs to be in a less stressful place and she is headed to the beach baby!!! We were at the farmers market, this lady who makes jewelry was very friendly to us until Mary said, oh look you can wear a classy pin AND smoke a joint at the same time. She was looking at this pin, it had 3 head like things on it that in Mary’s defense looked like roach clips. I swear the entire earth went silent, you could hear crickets!!! It was not roach clips, I started laughing so loud, the lady is staring at us with this glare that was telling us to put the product down, move along and NEVER EVER return. I died laughing, her reaction, Mary’s mistake and the absolute silence was awesome! Oh how I needed that laugh, it was a BELLY laugh!!! We continued on our way and came across these flowers, oh how I wish I could afford to buy some!20150425_094839-1 20150425_094843-1

Headed home after the market and did a bit of housework. My friend asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with her and her boyfriend so we headed to this amazing little restaurant Agave Azul, for those of you in the Gresham/Portland area, it is worth the trip. Fresh made, mostly authentic, amazing flavors. I had the Sopes, little maza cakes with chicken and steak, pico de gallo, lettuce, mexican cheese and the most amazing salsa. YUMMM20150425_172734

Rod went for the “Big Margarita” that is what they call it! He finished one and as you can see from the second photo by the time they brought the second one he was smiley! He is a Central Oregon transplant who coaches swimming, he is one of the sweetest men I know and is so wonderful to the kids. 20150425_172744 (1) 20150425_173128

Pam is my coworker and a great friend, she makes me laugh, she pokes me when I am putting myself down, she is one of my biggest supporters in this journey I am on. I adore her and she cracks me up daily. I know people listen to our conversations and must think WTF those two are seriously nuts!!! She is one of the few people in the world who I can be “me” around.

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After dinner I took a little walk, it is a stormy beautiful night. I am exhausted but my mind is not as muddled. Headed to bed, I think for the first time in a long time I am going to sleep a little better. I needed to refresh and unload and not talk or even think work, life, my journey I am taking. Nothing but good people, good food, several walks and now a wonderful stormy night!!!! Hugs my friends.